Recently I have found myself doing a lot of sessions with men around having more confidence with women, whether it be simply approaching women or being confident in knowing what to do in the bedroom to please a woman.
One of the the common themes I see is around their relationship with their father or male figure.
If the male figure has been strict, abusive, violent and/or not present and unavailable, then I see these men often taking on a story that ‘I don’t want to be like that’.
They don’t want to be seen as assholes or ‘bad men’, because they want to be the man that their father never was for them.
With this polarisation towards this type of man they end up shutting down a part of them that would give them access to the confidence that they desire.
Now let’s be clear here I am not saying they need to be assholes to get what they want, but the animal part of a man that fucks, hunts and kills has been made very wrong and shameful in society.
But it is this part of a man that will give him the confidence to go for what he wants!
It is this animal energy that so many women are actually longing to be fucked by too!
But these men are so hell bent on not appearing like an asshole that they become nice guys and people pleasers and are too afraid to do anything in case they hurt someone.
Which then ends up in them often getting walked all over, not getting what they want and getting resentful towards women or other men who do get the women they want.
This resentment leads to more suppression of his primal energy.
This is the part of him that actually just wants to be unleashed and to be able to claim what he wants without giving a fuck what anyone else thinks about them!
It is through accessing his rage, anger, resentment and fully owning this primal wild part of him and seeing it through the eyes of love that will give him the confidence he is seeking.
What I also see commonly is that if the Father was unavailable then there can be an underlying fear for this man will that he will do the same thing to a woman and if he starts to find himself getting too close, then he will uncontrollably pull away.
He could also be subconsciously afraid that if she gets too close then she will see the energy of the asshole that he is suppressing and then abandon or reject him.
This is why he may not even have an explanation for her as to his pulling away behaviour, because he doesn’t understand it himself.
But his soul knows the truth – that this energy is inside of him and it knows that for him to fully be vulnerable and open to connecting intimately with a woman, then this part will be seen.
And it is actually deeply longing to be seen, owned and loved – by himself.
So the medicine for men is:
OWN YOUR FUCKING ASSHOLE.
Own this energy within you.
Part of this is actually exploring this literally, because your anus is a part of your body where shame is sitting and this needs to be unlocked and expressed.
When a man owns and loves his asshole, then he won’t be afraid to be seen as that and he will let in the love and intimacy he truly desires.
He won’t be afraid to go for what he wants, to own his desires and to know and speak his boundaries.
He won’t be afraid to be rejected by women because he is no longer rejecting these parts of himself.
MEN – I would love to hear your thoughts on this, do you resonate to this?
Have your journeyed with any of this?
What’s been your experience?
If you feel called to come on this deep healing journey with me and own the parts of you that are longing to be owned, seen and loved (including the energy of your inner asshole), then I am currently running a V-Day Special on my Men’s S*x Mastery Program.
This is only available until the end of this week though and is a one time special offer, with an option to upgrade to get a 1:1 Clearing Session with me (for the first 10 people only). During this session is where I will get straight to the core of your blocks and clear them for you.